Happy Girls

I think it's been pretty obvious that following last week's battery-swallowing incident I have been in a bit of a state. Our insurance plan got much worse this year, so on top of our $3000 deductible we've always had we now only have 80% coverage after that deductible is met. Which it has been, less than 2 months into the year. What that means is that last week's escapades are going to be costing us thousands of dollars out of pocket. I was dwelling on it a lot yesterday and thinking maybe I should just get a job and put Lily in daycare. That would make paying the bills much easier and surely there are no batteries to swallow in a daycare setting... but I also never want to let Lily out of my sight again. I am really quite happy, just having a difficult time communicating the millions of emotions and thoughts I've been having. So I'm going to borrow some words from our dear Zoe, who turned 16 on Saturday (time flies!)


This is from a paper Zoe wrote for school about some of Anna's ordeals during the summer that I was pregnant with Lily. I hope that Zoe can forgive me for stealing her words, and Anna can forgive me for sharing. I just read the paper this morning and though Anna's amazing survival is the topic, so much of it applies to what I've been feeling this past week:

We go back and forth searching for reassurance pulling ourselves together and trying to be rational and unassuming.

I sat there, realizing what a mess this was becoming. How sadness could so easily turn people angry, because it was only a way to avoid the grief. I guess I needed that time away, a time to be able to feel sad, to look sad, and not have a million people asking you what was wrong... We laughed with our eyes still red and our hearts still cautious.

I can prove that these days only made me stronger. It was on those hard days that our eyes glowed with faith, to know that everything that happened so far had been a work of our God. I knew that Anna's life lay in His hands, and, no matter what you believe, it was a miracle that Anna was surviving. It was in those times of hardship that I learned to be thankful, that I learned to trust and to have faith. I was finally beginning to understand the concept of having joy in times of suffering, and it wasn't an easy lesson to comprehend.

When people said that hope comes in whispers, they were telling the truth. The battle is never over, but a chapter could be put behind the bookmark... How we take for granted what we have! Cherish what you have, realize how blessed you are, and love everyone as much as you can for as long as you can.

I can't try and keep what I believe out of this for you guys, I just have to tell you that Anna is only alive by God's grace, who my faith rests in and He is the one that did the healing. You can choose to believe what you would like about my story; all I know is that Anna's life is a miracle. It wasn't of the doctors or the nurses, it wasn't of my mom, but it all came down to something that is above us, that even I don't completely understand. I have been able to be happy through suffering and for suffering. My life has been touched.